Comparison Confusion

They say, comparison is the thief of joy…

This was always the case as I would scroll through my Instagram feed for years.  I would see picturesque images of family’s different from mine, free from divorce and single mom stress.  I would hyper focus on bodies that were different from mine, better in my mind's eye and what they would eat or wouldn't, so I could look as they did.  I would study the workout routines of those that I was inspired by, then get ‘confused’ and beat myself up for not being or doing better. The list goes on.  But, when I got honest with myself, I realized I was perpetually holding myself back from stepping into my highest self and living into my happiest self, because I was zeroing on the things I didn’t have.  I was so hyper-focused on who I wish I was instead of recognizing how far I had come to let that be the motivation and fuel to move me forward  By not recognizing my personal strengths, beauty, resilience, power, knowledge, blessings and those I get to love that love me back, I subconsciously held myself back. This only kept me stuck and held me back from taking action.  Comparing myself to others, I just ended up feeling so confused and hopeless.  Have you ever felt like that?  Like, even on a good day, when you felt like you had a good handle on your life, somehow (hello Instagram) you got sucked into comparison confusion and negative self talk? Focusing on how others are ‘better’ than you?  That they have the body, the life, the commitment, the habits, the success, the marriage, the clothes you wish you did, and then that emotional wave of confusion comes over you leaving you feeling distracted, overwhelmed and on some occasions just over it all together. 

How can you change this?

Firstly…stop following people that don’t actually motivate you or inspire you.  If you find yourself comparing yourself in a negative way and/or judging them or yourself, take a pause and a follow break.  Make sure you’re being very intentional with what you let into your mind and your feed.  Then…become your own biggest influencer.  Your biggest motivation. Start measuring yourself against yourself, by measuring how far you have come this far in your life as well as all your achievements.  Recognize how amazing you are right now in this moment, not against who you think you should be by now.  Then, make the decision to be your highest you, today.  One day at a time.  Start to expand your self image and self concept.  Develop habits that reaffirm your evolving self image, strength and self confidence.  Start small.  Pick small habits, create a plan, and then build on them over time. Watch as you slowly build a strong relationship with yourself keeping those commitments you make.  Maybe you decide you are going to start walking outside listening to a motivational podcast every morning at a particular time OR you schedule them throughout your week at the times that you know are ideal for you on each particular day.  Just keeping a small promise like this to yourself is telling your brain, you got this and you can do even bigger things. 1% better today than yesterday is the goal, like James Clear notes in his book Atomic Habits. Compounded over time, you will be 37% better this year than the year before if you are consistent.  That is exponential, organic, feel good, steady growth that will stick with you forever.  If you are done with band-aids and quick fixes, and are ready for long term solutions to live into our highest, healthiest and fittest selves, start practicing being your own influencer. Over time, you will literally blow your own mind.  I promise.

XX, 

Monique