Painful Comfort

Painful Comfort...

Do you seek comfort in food only to feel the negative effects after? You know what I mean. Those moments when we give into that desire of over indulging or overeating that then becomes discomfort and/or pain, both emotional and physical. Those instances when we say screw it, and down a sleeve of Oreos, half a pint of Ben & Jerry’s or go back for those 2nd’s, 3rd’s of lasagna and top it off with 3 or 4 chocolate chip cookies. Those times when you don’t even recognize the true pleasure in the food in the moment simply because mentally you are somewhere else and before you know it, your stomach hurts, you feel tired, anxious and shame creeps in. God knows I’ve been there. I can remember being in high school and ordering a large pizza, eating almost the entire thing alone in my room, and then hiding the box under my bed in shame. Or as an adult, baking chocolate chip cookies with my boys, then eating my body weight in cookie dough (not really, but it sure felt that way) along with ½ a dozen baked cookies and feeling jittery and sick.  

On the flip side, if we don’t say screw it we have to feel the discomfort of NOT giving into that urge, having to feel the emotion of an unmet desire. Either way we feel the discomfort and it’s no fun at all. I had to get real with myself. Would I rather feel the discomfort of overeating or would I rather feel the temporary discomfort of not feeding that urge? Then I asked, what does my future self really want? The woman who wakes up tomorrow feeling great because she made a choice that not only made my body feel great, but one that allowed me to practice the skill of discipline. I had to decide on purpose what I REALLY wanted. I had to get radically honest with myself and tell myself the truth.

Ok, so maybe, sometimes saying screw it, IS what we really wanted at that moment. Like, I choose this temporary comfort over the discomfort of the afterwards. We need to take the guilt and shame out of the equation and treat it as an opportunity to learn more about ourselves. Our body’s, our hormones, our routines that serve and don’t serve us, etc. Then, decide what we want on purpose going forward. Maybe you want to practice navigating those urges and NOT saying screw it and avoiding the said food altogether. OR, maybe you do want to indulge, but intentionally, mindfully, slowly and with true presence. If you’re reading this post, my guess is that most likely your goal would be the latter. To eat what you want, within reason, without the pain of over indulging. This was what I personally wanted and I'm still practicing this skill now. Every day I get stronger and more resilient and fall even more in love with the process of making choices intentionally and with my best health in mind. It’s gotten easier and easier over time, and most days feels effortless. What about you? What’s your version of balance? What do you want for yourself long term with your health and body? Do you feel like short term pleasures are taking away from your long term happiness?

This is going to look different to each of us, but the best way to unlock this option for you is to explore your ideal ratio of comfort and strength. Ask yourself, what is my version of balance? How can I exercise both discipline and also indulge mindfully?  Creating that awareness and then making a plan in advance is the best place to start. 

If you feel like sharing your version of balance with me, or need help clarifying yours, reply back to this email…I’m here for you my friend.

XX, Monique